The Real Me

Can you see the real me? I picked that as my title one because it is by the Who and one of my favorite old songs, but also because it applies to my topic of the day. Just this morning, I transferred the contents of my old and fraying pocketbook which is WAY TOO SMALL into a new bag that I purchased last MARCH. That took 9 months and pretty much sums up my personality, and some of my problems. The main reason I never did this before was fear....that I would lose something. You see, my bag is always with me. And I'm not one of those people that changes my purse with my outfit. No, you'll see me with the same bag at Halloween, and the 4th of July. The bag I have been using for the past (2?) years was never meant to be my permanent bag. It was much smaller than my bags in the past and didn't have enough room for my things. If my phone rang I could never, ever find it. It would require removing my wallet, etc. and digging underneath pens, receipts, sometimes making me panic because I thought it was lost. But even though the pocketbook caused me a lot of anxiety, there was so much in it! I didn't want to transfer all that crap to a new bag, but I didn't want to leave out something important. But this morning I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to move the important things and just leave the rest in the old bag. And...it may just stay there forever or until a few years pass and I can just toss everything knowing it's obsolete. Last year I did buy a coupon organizer which was great-but it didn't fit in the bag so sometimes the coupons were organized but not in there. I knew that last time I tried to get by with a smaller bag because I was trying consciously to carry less. Well, that turned out to be a mistake. But I did make myself suffer for a long time. So-there you have the real me in a nutshell-a bit neurotic, fearful, indecisive and able to express it all.