On Having Guests

I like having guests at my house. Unlike some other people, I'm not a perfectionist and don't have what I have seen people refer to as "OCD" -I don't notice at all if something is crooked or out of line, I don't notice details of things easily, I can easily overlook small things. I've tried to google a term for "the opposite of perfectionism" but haven't found a satisfying word yet. It seems that many people refer to themselves as jokingly "having OCD" and it made me think about how different approaches to clutter and general "housekeeping" might be affected by this.  During this pandemic I had two different and new guests who stayed at my house. One was my mother in law, who prior to this, had only stayed overnight one time at my house. During that stay, the cat interrupted her sleep and she never wanted to return after that. But circumstances being what they were, and her anxiety increasing daily in New York, she agreed to spend some time at our house, and out of the city. She stayed for two weeks. Now, I do work on keeping things fairly organized in shared spaces (kitchen, bathrooms, living room) but her level of neat and mine were obviously different.  For example,  in my kitchen, the island area often has several items on it. Right now it has my bluetooth speaker, some glasses, pet treats, and some plastic baggies with pepper seeds in them. The counter has a watering can, some cleansers, a mug, etc. I haven't rushed to completely clear the counters, but when she was here, I was acutely aware of anything I might have left out. She would painstakingly wash everything by hand, although I usually throw things into the dishwasher. After the first few days, when I saw she was getting troubled by something "out of place" I actually told her, it's okay, my standards are relaxed, they have to be, because I live with my sons, and I would be stressed out all the time if I cared that much if something was out of place. They will have food, not clean the crumbs, maybe leave a dirty pan out, leave glasses around, and if that type of thing really bothered me, it would drive me crazy. I want my house to be a welcoming place, and I think it is, for I want people to feel at home and not like they are going to make a mistake or do something wrong or upset the order. I truly want them to relax and enjoy my house. Now maybe some people could not relax in my house if they saw for example, the bucket I have that is kind of the "catch all" for stray things in the kitchen. If I throw them in the basket, they won't get lost, I'll know they are important but that they are in a holding area until they can be properly put away. Looking at my bookshelf, though, could drive certain people insane. Some books are tipped to the left or right, for example, and there are too many random items placed on the bookshelf make it a display so it looks like.....well it looks like someone might have just put them there. While I wish my bookcase was in order and beautiful to look at, the wish is only a pipe dream, for I don't have the vision to make it that way. I have a friend whose bookcases are works of art, as lovingly placed items, all with special meaning of a particular time and place, mingle with photographs. I love this person's display, I even envy it, but I could not re-create that in my own house because I simply do not have the ability to do that.  Even as a teacher, I could never keep bookcases straight and my papers went this way and that. Occasionally I would have a student who would insist on order, and on a slow day, rearrange my cabinets, so that all the book spines were the same way, and colors matched. I appreciated this help, but the cabinets eventually would go back to their old ways.  I don't have the desire to make the inside of a cabinet perfect, but I have found that most people do. I have also never been able to decorate, and most people can. So what gene is missing? Getting back to having guests, I also met my son's girlfriend for the first time, and she stayed over for a few nights. While I was proud of the guest room, and the upstairs bathroom, I worried what she might think of things such as "the book case". Then again, I knew that if she was J's girlfriend, most likely she was an easygoing person in that area. He certainly had not been taught by me how to decorate or be a perfectionist, and never seemed bothered by whatever living situation he encountered. He traveled far and wide and is a most agreeable and non-complaining sort of person, never concerned about his housing. Even I raised my eyebrows at some camp bunk situations and miniscule dorm rooms, he accepted them all, and even got annoyed at my slightest exclamations over room size or presentation. When traveling, he never saw the accommodations before he moved in, but accepted them all without comment, positive, or negative. My middle son, although appreciating the largesse of other people's houses, also is quite relaxed about his own space, and I expect my youngest is too. Although it seems the two younger ones are trained in my particular obsession with other people's homes.  I do so appreciate the good taste of others, but it simply doesn't matter that much to me if I do it. I'll say "I want to live at so and so's house" but that doesn't make me change my own house. I just get so exhausted even thinking about it. I don't know if this is something I should pursue or not. I'd feel better if I could assign it to someone else, sit back, and enjoy the results.