Saturday, July 23, 2011
mommy martyrs?
I couldn't believe I had this thought, googled it, and apparently the term really exists. Flylady has a saying about "housework blessing your family" and one of her rules is "don't nag." The theory is, that others will follow by your example. If the sink is clean, someone won't put a dirty dish in it, or if the counter and table is clear, someone won't leave stuff out on it after cooking. However, I have boys living in my house. 3 sons and a husband. Often some other friends as well. It's not like when I was growing up with 3 sisters. We instinctively would help our mom. Or if there was a large party, we would each have a task to do. It felt normal and natural to be doing that. I don't know if it comes as easily to sons. If I specifically ask for something to be agreed to by the older 2. The younger one tends to fight me on direct orders feeling no particular need to participate in keeping the house in order. I have always done it, not perfectly, but to the best of my ability. Now that I am focusing more on order and living the "organized life" I find there can be days where I literally do nothing but "clean up" after myself and others. I could seriously stand in the kitchen all day, first cooking, then cleaning, then shopping, then putting away, then doing laundry, then putting it away, then sweeping, then repeating the process for each meal. Those are the days I am so dying to just get out of the house and be working because the house doesn't get like that if no one is in it all day. I go back and forth with that kind of thinking and the kind of self talk where I tell myself to be grateful be grateful that you have the things you have. I am grateful, every day, for the things I have. But can I still complain once in a while, and even philosophize about what is wrong with that way of thinking? That way of thinking can lead to a dull mind. A dull mind where I would have nothing to talk about, because I haven't done anything all day but straighten without really getting anywhere and listen to my own thoughts. I can entertain myself with my own thoughts at times because they are so far reaching and funny. In my mind I've written a thousand books. I have written self help books, non fiction novels on various topics, humorous pieces, children and young adult novels. All in my head. None of these things have ever seen the paper for there is always some excuse-I don't have the perfect laptop, or I'm not good enough. Someone else may have already stolen the idea as it pops into my head. Like my mommy martyr article/book. There's already a website with plenty of info. on that topic. More later
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