Time's a Wasting?

I wonder if years ago there were so many books on decluttering, organizing, and the like. As I stand in line to pay for groceries, every magazine seems to have "cut the clutter" as one of their lead stories. I don't know if it was always like this because of course, when I was younger, I didn't read the same magazines. Was clutter less of a problem years ago, and is minimalism the "it" thing of our generation, or have we learned from mistakes of the past?
Meanwhile I had an epiphany last night as I drove around town fetching and carrying, that in the last 16 years I haven't accomplished much. I've had part time jobs only. I have not perfected any type of talent. I have not developed any new hobbies. I have not significantly reduced the amount of clutter (although I have learned to get a handle on the daily routines of life and cleaning....) There are many goals I have not achieved. One of those goals was to find a satisfying work life. I don't think that has happened. I started grad. school for instructional technology. Now I see jobs which I would have been qualified for if I had just stuck with the program and finished it. Money was an issue at that time, so I put aside my goals for the sake of the house. Now I have bigger house, but am not closer to that first goal. That goal continues to be really important for me because I probably will never be one of those people who is satisfied simply by my home life. Of course, I want to do a good job as a parent, and I feel I've done a pretty good job, as my kids are turning out to be decent human beings. I just know that kids grow up and do their own thing. I don't want to be wasting away in a small town. I want to plan and do more things, activities that bring joy to my life. Instead, my days seem to pass in a blur of chores, and unfinished projects. I read so many blogs about motivation but something seems to keep me from going forward. I feel like I could use a breakthrough.

To share....or not to share?

So here it is almost the end of January and it's been quite a while since my last post. I have been thinking a lot about how I might make this blog more useful. For me, it's very helpful to read other people's blogs or watch videos about people either struggling with my same issues, or those who have mastered the art of an uncluttered household. I find it very inspiring. However, I have been very reluctant to share my own blog. One, because I don't consider it very interesting and haven't worked that hard on it. Two, because I don't know if I've really gotten anywhere. Would I be more inspired if I posted more often and actually shared this? I'll see if this week I make some headway. BTW there's another construction project going on. So the kitchen/hall area is jam packed with stuff, and the upstairs has taken on the brunt of "family room living" so is generally more cluttered than it used to be, thanks to video games and wires. Also, the entire house is very dusty from the residual construction dust, even though I have actually been dusting and vacuuming it more often just to keep up.  I have been truly trying very hard to keep an uncluttered kitchen area by consciously putting everything away each evening. It's nice to wake up to a totally clean kitchen island. Also, I have been very good at swishing and swiping the downstairs bathrooms. I have been keeping up with laundry washing, but not very good at putting it away. I will revel in my small successes.

Regaining Momentum

I definitely go through ups and downs with my  motivation. Right now the house shows some definite problems. It is not one particular thing but a general lack of upkeep that has now made me face a day of gloom and doom. Sometimes just admitting this helps. There is not room now that doesn't need a thorough cleaning. I've been able to keep up with the basic stuff, kitchen bathrooms, and laundry but not the detailed cleaning or the paper clutter. I picture a mountain of papers. I don't actually let it become a mountain, I let it become a tipping pile and then I organize it into file folders. Eventually the file folders become piles in themselves. Losing battle. Putting clothes away, another issue. Never got the kids to handle their own clothes, thus I wash and hang 5 people's clothes. Grocery shopping....yes....actually peeling and using the vegetables, only sometimes. Doing things on time, just barely. Barely getting things done more likely. Feeling very tired in the evenings lately. Only want to curl up in bed and sleep at night. Not very productive in general. Bare minimum. These are things I need and want to change. Always feel behind. Not too good!

"The After"

So, a lot has changed since my last post. The summer has come and gone. My perspective has changed. I have taken on a new attitude of "just do it" rather than ruminating. I have been trying to live by the "do it now" philosophy or back to basics with my favorite: The Flylady. I have been more matter of fact about the day to day in my life. My next focus is really on emergency preparation. So, to wrap it up, nothing is perfect, but everything is under control.

What is Perfection?

Last week, once again, I visited what I would consider to be a "perfect" home. Perfect to me is warm, friendly, and comfortable. All over this house were meaningful photos, works of art, attractive furniture, etc. I have written before about this kind of home. In contrast I have my own home, which always feels like a work in progress. I never feel that I can just relax and enjoy it. Before someone is coming over I always feel that I have to clean. Lots of times we can't find what we are looking for and I become frustrated. If I can't find something that my kids or husband need, I start to feel like I failed in some way. At the same time I am defensive. This is not a good combination and I want to stop this cycle. In my mind, perfect would be always having healthy foods in the house, and always having a delicious meal ready when my kids were hungry. In contrast, this morning, I had run out of bread, and delicious lunch food, so that 2 of the kids had peanut butter and jelly which they don't even like. When it came time for the last kid, he had tuna on a hot dog roll. I couldn't find his usual lunch box, so he had lunch in a plastic bag. Not really a big deal-no one went hungry or even complained-but I felt bad about it. I was late to my class at the gym and denied a spot. Again, no big deal because I ran on the treadmill. At this moment I do not know where my ipod touch is ....again. And the power cord to my camera has been missing forcing me to use my cell phone to record two really good concerts. My room is piled with towels and clothes that need to be put away. Middle son has not finished writing his thank you notes. I constantly feel on the defense for my faults as a mom, wife, and "housekeeper." My kids cannot find socks sometimes, so they argue with eachother for "stealing" the other's socks. I have a lot of unopened bills. Worst-I owe CT. tax money, which I didn't even realize.  There are ways through this but one of the most difficult things for me is to be faced with a long string of things I do not want to do. Cleaning itself isn't a problem really. I don't mind the physical work of cleaning at all. The physical vacuuming, dusting, mopping, is okay with me. It's the organizing that I have problems with.
I am going to try to dedicate just 2 hours. That is from about 11:45-1:45 to see if I can in some ways improve this current situation. I will try to update then.

Today's Challenge

I have 25 minutes before I have to leave to watch son play basketball. Every inch of this house needs a pick me up. Where do I start? The entrance way of course! Here I go!

moving too slowly

I have touched on this before, sometimes I move very slowly in my cleaning. It takes me way to long to do something that should not take long at all. When I get interrupted I can't just go back to doing something. It seems like I need long stretches of uninterrupted time to do something. Maybe I should try working in shorter but more productive bursts. When I have looming hours ahead of me I move in micro steps. Whereas most things in my life, I do very quickly. Except decluttering. Then I am terribly stymied by inaction.