The Real Me

Can you see the real me? I picked that as my title one because it is by the Who and one of my favorite old songs, but also because it applies to my topic of the day. Just this morning, I transferred the contents of my old and fraying pocketbook which is WAY TOO SMALL into a new bag that I purchased last MARCH. That took 9 months and pretty much sums up my personality, and some of my problems. The main reason I never did this before was fear....that I would lose something. You see, my bag is always with me. And I'm not one of those people that changes my purse with my outfit. No, you'll see me with the same bag at Halloween, and the 4th of July. The bag I have been using for the past (2?) years was never meant to be my permanent bag. It was much smaller than my bags in the past and didn't have enough room for my things. If my phone rang I could never, ever find it. It would require removing my wallet, etc. and digging underneath pens, receipts, sometimes making me panic because I thought it was lost. But even though the pocketbook caused me a lot of anxiety, there was so much in it! I didn't want to transfer all that crap to a new bag, but I didn't want to leave out something important. But this morning I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to move the important things and just leave the rest in the old bag. And...it may just stay there forever or until a few years pass and I can just toss everything knowing it's obsolete. Last year I did buy a coupon organizer which was great-but it didn't fit in the bag so sometimes the coupons were organized but not in there. I knew that last time I tried to get by with a smaller bag because I was trying consciously to carry less. Well, that turned out to be a mistake. But I did make myself suffer for a long time. So-there you have the real me in a nutshell-a bit neurotic, fearful, indecisive and able to express it all.

Emotional states and cleaning

For the past few nights I didn't sleep well and had dreams my car was being stolen. I'll have to look up what that means, but anyway, I woke up this morning and my routine was off. After dropping off littlest son at bus, decided to tackle one thing which was my room. I made my bed and put some clothes away. Then I went to the gym. After that I knew I had to pick middle son up early from school for appt. so I couldn't get into doing anything. Because I was worried about him getting braces, it kept me from accomplishing anything. When there is "emotional clutter" then my other clutter does not get taken care of. Now it's Friday evening, and I have to leave this house at 6:30. Between now and then, I'd like to make a dent....vacuum, clear clutter from the main area and swish and swipe the two downstairs bathrooms. I also need to cook dinner. Let's see if I can do that.

Encouraged? Inspried?

In my last post I discussed perfect houses. I visited one last night. I would have been happy to spend the rest of my life living in that house, it was so beautiful. Not only was it beautiful, but it was comfortable and warm. 3 kids lived there, and there were sweet reminders of them (photos, mementos) but absolutely no clutter. Luckily, I had anticipated this and done a mad dash cleaning effort in my own house in order not to feel that I was returning to a dungeon. (note: my house is not a dungeon...I'm exaggerating) But I do have things hanging around the living room which is the first area you see, such as rubber bands, which obviously do not belong there. What can I say, my lovely child went on a rubber band shooting kick a few weeks ago and I'm still digging up the remainders of that. The house I went to was beautifully decorated but not "fussy" at all. It had lovely window treatments, nice colors on the walls, the kids' rooms were cozy. I can get inspired not discouraged, right?
Well, onto another subject, today I went in the basement and threw out 2 bags of stuff, like coats with broken zippers and old sneakers that had absolutely no right to be in the house anymore. I even swept the laundry area floor of the dryer lint!

Talking to Myself

Today is my "day off" but not my day off. It's 12:00 and I've gone to the gym and gone shopping. That's good, but the rest of the day's chores loom in front of me and I have to keep up the self motivation. After I return from the grocery store with the bags, I always sit in the car for a moment, dreading the act of removing the bags from the car, bringing them in and putting everything away. I actually have to say to myself "you can do this!" It seems like such a small thing and such a lack of energy. I have to make a dish for tomorrow night's party, make dinner for tonight (have to start early because I want to finish the chili in the slow cooker) The sunlight is shining today and it makes me see smudges and dust everywhere. I seriously don't know how the average person keeps up. What is the secret of those with the always perfect home? I need to know!

Today's Goal

Strange that the last time I wrote I mentioned the kids rooms. Today my mission is to get into the downstairs kids' rooms and sort them out. I want to remove things from under their beds and vacuum, as well as remove things from the drawers that they don't need.
I also need to rub smudges and fingerprints off all upstairs surfaces. Perhaps I'll update when I do these things. The trouble is I don't really want to do those things on a beautiful fall day like today. But I must.

Motivation? Where art Thous?

Ok-It has been a while since I posted here. The urgency that took hold of me in the summer has been fading a little. I like being back in a work and school routine which in general keeps me calmer and keeps the house more sane. My 3 DS's continue to litter the house with socks and dishes. My new dog litters the house with clumps of fur and dust but she's so cute I don't really mind. My DH does his "jobs" around the house (garbage, recycling, outdoor work) so things are in a routine of sorts. There is the nagging feeling of unfinished rooms which is keeping my kids rooms from being something I can be proud of. Matt needs a decent closet. Jake needs a desk. I can't blame them for the state of their rooms without that. Troy could use a new dresse and everyone needs blinds.

Calm Before the Storm?

Today has been a day of marathon laundry. This is so I won't have any down in the basement in case of flooding. Or if my power goes out, I'll have lots and lots of clean clothes. Amazing how many loads I can do, when it includes towels, sheets, and dirty soccer clothes twice a day. It still takes me an inordinately long time to do things which bothers me. I have been rescuing my living room on a daily basis from a build up of fur dustballs that have entered my house since we got a new doggie. She is very clean when you pet her, but definitely creates a whole other dynamic of vacuum needs. Other than that I have been serving up meals and snacks non stop, and although I've been keeping up with the kitchen it is far from magazine worthy. My motto today is I'll do what I can to keep the rooms as clutter free as possible, in case we have to light candles or move about in the dark. Starting now I will move as fast as possible for the next hour to accomplish this, and then have a cup of tea and start making lasagna for dinner. I hopefully will report back soon on my progress.