mommy martyrs?

I couldn't believe I had this thought, googled it, and apparently the term really exists. Flylady has a saying about "housework blessing your family" and one of her rules is "don't nag." The theory is, that others will follow by your example. If the sink is clean, someone won't put a dirty dish in it, or if the counter and table is clear, someone won't leave stuff out on it after cooking. However, I have boys living in my house. 3 sons and a husband. Often some other friends as well. It's not like when I was growing up with 3 sisters. We instinctively would help our mom. Or if there was a large party, we would each have a task to do. It felt normal and natural to be doing that. I don't know if it comes as easily to sons. If I specifically ask for something to be agreed to by the older 2. The younger one tends to fight me on direct orders feeling no particular need to participate in keeping the house in order. I have always done it, not perfectly, but to the best of my ability. Now that I am focusing more on order and living the "organized life" I find there can be days where I literally do nothing but "clean up" after myself and others. I could seriously stand in the kitchen all day, first cooking, then cleaning, then shopping, then putting away, then doing laundry, then putting it away, then sweeping, then repeating the process for each meal. Those are the days I am so dying to just get out of the house and be working because the house doesn't get like that if no one is in it all day. I go back and forth with that kind of thinking and the kind of self talk where I tell myself to be grateful be grateful that you have the things you have. I am grateful, every day, for the things I have. But can I still complain once in a while, and even philosophize about what is wrong with that way of thinking? That way of thinking can lead to a dull mind. A dull mind where I would have nothing to talk about, because I haven't done anything all day but straighten without really getting anywhere and listen to my own thoughts. I can entertain myself with my own thoughts at times because they are so far reaching and funny. In my mind I've written a thousand books. I have written self help books, non fiction novels on various topics, humorous pieces, children and young adult novels. All in my head. None of these things have ever seen the paper for there is always some excuse-I don't have the perfect laptop, or I'm not good enough. Someone else may have already stolen the idea as it pops into my head. Like my mommy martyr article/book. There's already a website with plenty of info. on that topic. More later

Doing Things You Don't Enjoy

There are many times I feel inadequate. One time I went to a class birthday party for my youngest. I was supposed to bring ice cream. That was easy, all I had to do was purchase it and show up. Someone else had been assigned fruit. She brought 26 beautiful plastic cups of fruit, each one covered in plastic wrap, and served with a decorative toothpick. The lovely fruit salad included cantaloupe, strawberries, blueberries and blackberries. Now if I had been assigned fruit I probably would have just cut up the fruit in one big bowl and then served it. But now that I have seen what one mom did, It made me see the possibilities. What am I getting at here? Sometimes when I see what other people do, and what they take the time to do, I feel guilty that I don't do those things.
What should I have done today? I decided I had to do something productive around the house, so I dusted the living room and threw out stuff that didn't belong in there. I don't dust all that much, although it's on the list of flylady tasks, I just never seem to do it-that should be one of my new habits, it really doesn't take that long. I am confounded still by paper and magazines. Last year I didn't get magazines at all and I missed them. Then I subscribed again and now I have too many. DH has too many Sports Illustrated magazines (they come every week) and maybe I should just pack them up and put them in his work bag. What about flyers from the grocery store. I mean what does the normal person do with these things. Just where are they supposed to sit for the week that you might need them? Really, I want to know.

Living LIke an Orgznized Person results week 1

I tried to write this earlier and got some kind of warning that there was an error and it might get deleted. Even "google" gets disorganized once in a while. At least it warned me to save, but I didn't listen. So here I am a few hours later to post the results of week one. I decided that instead of moving from thing to thing I would complete one task before moving on to another. The two things I worked on this week were the kitchen, and laundry. Promptly after eating each meal or snack, I would put everything away, wipe up, load the dishwasher, wash any pots used, etc. Then I would sweep the floor of any crumbs. For laundry I would bring up the load, sort and put away, taking the time to go into each room to do this. The good news is my kitchen was consistently clean and seeing it that way made me more obsessive about doing things right away. Also, there was barely any laundry to do today because it was basically all washed. This week I am going to work on menu planning some more. I also want to report on the results of shopping at a warehouse club. I joined BJ's a few weeks ago with a free trial membership. I've had to go to Yorktown once a week so it was convenient to go to. Being pretty well informed about prices, I tried to be reasonable about what I bought. One thing good about going there was it kind of keeps me out of places like shoprite which is good because I often buy extra things I don't need if I go there. The less often you shop the better. At BJ's I was able to get larger amounts of things I use often (pasta, sauce, frozen pizza, certain snacks...) The bill comes out higher with less items, but now I won't have to buy soap, sponges, Cascade, for a long time. The other thing I want to work on this week is paper clutter, my nemesis. I will think about it like an organized person. Also I want to organize the music and photos I have. But that will have to wait.